Pluto’s Testies
I feel I have to share with you what is sure to be the funniest fucking moment of the (okay, my) week.
My mom, dad and sister are still in town so the other night we all went out to dinner. There was some party going on at the restaurant and they had these two balloon people walking around and making… you guessed it… balloon things. Of course SassyPants has to have one and of course, since grandma and grandpa were there, she got one (and she had that smug little look on her sassy little face knowing that if they hadn’t been there, there would have been no chance in hell I’d be paying for a stupid balloon but since the grandparents were there she got exactly what she wanted). So Balloon Lady asks SP what she wants. SP asks what she can make. Balloon Lady says “800 different things” and I shit you not, starts to fucking name them. (On a separate note, never give a 6 year old 800 options. The decision making process is painful. Just tell her you can make a princess crown and a cat. It’ll save us all a lot of time.) So randomly, SP blurts out “a dog.” And then Balloon Lady says “like Mickey’s dog Pluto?” and SP says “yeah, fine” (even she was tired of thinking about it at this point). ANYWAYS so she makes SP a big ass Pluto. (She also makes LB a very creepy looking Thomas the Train but that really has no bearing on this story. Except that it was creepy.)
(Don’t worry. That wasn’t the funny part.)
So SP has Pluto sitting in the empty chair next to her when randomly, a leg pops. She is immediately in tears and holds it up. Well instead of just popping, it did what those long skinny balloons tend to do… have a skinny part and a part that still has air that looks like a ball and then more skinny and since his tail was really long and looked like another leg…. well basically, the popped leg became Pluto’s man junk- cock and balls.
I wanted to take a picture because I knew I’d be telling people about this… unfortunately my mom was yelling at dad and I for laughing to to the point of tears (something about it being inappropriate…. and dad kept going “but it looks like…” and mom kept going “I KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE”).
I know without the visual you may not truly understand the hystericalness but let me assure you, it was fucking HI-larious. Only in my family does an innocent balloon Disney character get turned into something bordering on pornographic. Oh yeah, and my sister got drunk on a virgin daiquiri. I guess this is probably why we limit the number of family outings to the bare minimum.
TrackBack
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://bitterwivesclub.com/archives/995/trackback