Bitter Wives Club

Random annoyances

I’m pretty sure swine flu originated at the Wal-mart here in this shit hole town in which I live.  I went yesterday and pretty much had to give LB a bath in hand sanitizer.  I’m fairly certain that 75% of the people in there came straight from Mexico only hours before.  And 95% of the people in there smelled like they had been playing with pigs.  I gotta find me a mask.  Isn’t it appropriate that BWC has two spam comments waiting for approval with the subject line “Tamiflu”… maybe I should approve them just in case we need to stock up.

SP’s girl scout troop has a mother’s day tea.  This pisses me off for two reasons.  -1- I’ve had 40 teacups sitting in my cabinet for 3 years.  Never been used.  I pack them up and send them with huz… now we’re supposed to bring a freakin teacup to this thing.  Of course.  -2- We’re supposed to “dress up in Southern style.  Fancy dresses, big hats…”  Is this 1780 in Georgia on a plantation?  Or the Kentucky Derby?  I’m from the south and the only hat I have is a straw cowboy hat that someone bought at a gas station.  If I was gonna dress up “Southern style”, it would consist of jeans and my cowboy boots.  It just reminds me of the year I moved to Connecticut and they used to ask me if I rode a horse to school.  (For the record?  The answer is no.  The only horse I rode involved little fences, kick ass knee high boots and really tight pants.  I did not ride bare back to first grade.)   Not to mention, I’ve never been to a tea party (unless you count the ones with SP and her teddy bears but there was no actual tea involved so…) so I don’t think that one could refer to a tea party as Southern… maybe British?  That would be so much easier to dress up for… bad accent, no shower and false teeth.

My brother is a punk.  He always has been but now he’s pissed me off royally.  He is VERY inappropriate.  No filter.  I frequently have to leave the room cause he’s going on and on about some sexual exploit (eww.)  So he calls me the other night to tell me that he’s seeing someone with the SAME NAME AS ME.  Holy GROSS.  How can you have sex with someone and call out the name of someone you took baths with when you were children?  I’m so disturbed.  The worst part is he doesn’t see anything weird about it at all.  <cringe>

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